Dear Friend,
Recently I've been having interesting conversations with nearly complete strangers about my history of obesity.
There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding weight loss surgery. There are a lot of misconceptions around obesity in general.
Those lucky individuals who have never struggled with their health or weight tend to be the first to assume the worst about people struggling with their weight.
They peg any and all fat people as lazy, unmotivated slobs.
And truth be told, SOME people who are severely overweight are lazy. SOME of them might be unmotivated to change their situation. SOME of them might be slobs.
But MOST of us who have issues with keeping weight off have every intention of losing it. MOST of us are extremely motivated and try and try and try, but for some reason it's just harder for us! Maybe it's genetics. Maybe it's mental health or past trauma and bad coping skills. Who the hell knows, but people aren't all made the same.
Weight management is different for EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.
My weight has been an issue literally as long as I can remember. My earliest memories of "dieting" was age 8, after being diagnosed with insulin resistance.
I struggled gaining and then trying to lose weight throughout my school years. I tried pills and Weight Watchers and Exlax and Atkins and exercise. Nothing really worked long-term.
On Weight Watchers I remember actually gaining weight. I did find success in a low-carb, high-protein diet. Around age 15, I had gotten up to about 250 pounds. My mother and I, together, started this new diet, and I saw significant results for the first time. I lose 70 pounds and by the time I turned 16 I weighed my lowest at 180 pounds.
Unfortunately, part of my weight-loss came because during that year I was extremely depressed. As soon as I was stabilized on antidepressants, the weight started coming right back despite the fact I continued (albeit half-heatedly) my low-carb diet.
When I moved across the country and got married, I gained a lot in a little amount of time. I've talked about why I think that happened in another letter. Early 2012, I weighed around 230 pounds. By the end of 2012, I was closer to 280, and by spring 2013 when I got married I was 320 pounds.
Throughout the first years of my marriage, I tried again with the low-carb, high-protein diet that I knew I could find success with. When I wasn't finding significant success with that, I added exercise even when my size made it difficult and strenuous to do much of anything.
So I attempted restricting my calories to 1,200 a day and tracked my food on MyFitnessPal. Those days I restricted, I came home around 7pm each evening feeling sick to my stomach and lightheaded.
When my doctor first suggested I consider weight loss surgery, I was offended. I went home and cried because I didn't think I was "that bad."
After another few years of the same unsuccessful diets and exercise routines, I kept thinking back to the idea of weight loss surgery.
In mid 2017, I started the process of getting my surgery. I went through The Bariatric Center of Kansas City, and set up all my appointments. I had to write my struggles with dieting and provide documentation of my weight through the years. They had me meet with a nutritionist and a psychologist to make sure I understood what the surgery meant and to decide if it was appropriate for me. Then I had some pre-surgery tests to take care of, where they tested me for sleep-apnea (found out I had it), checked my blood, had an endoscopy. After submitting to insurance and being approved, I just had to pay my co-pay. I was on a 2 week liquid diet and had my bypass January 4th, 2018.
Post-op, I literally slept most of the day for a week. I wasn't working at the time, and on break between semesters at school. My husband and my in-laws stepped up and helped with my son, who at the time was only 9 months old.
After my first week, I was off narcotics and up and moving much more. I had more energy although limited.
Week three is when I started to feel more normal and by week four I felt healed.
The post-op diet was tricky. It was clear liquids for the first few days, then liquids for the rest of week one post-op. I then went to soft foods two weeks post-op. I didn't return to "normal" food until 8 weeks post-op, and even then food was pretty difficult to get down. My new tiny tummy was very sensitive.
After the 2 month post-op mark, life went pretty much back to normal with me learning my new relationship with food.
As part of my hope to make sure my weight loss was successful, I joined Planet Fitness and started exercising regularly. I was cleared for mild exercise just 2 weeks post-op, so I started as soon as I could. I wasn't able to do much, just walk on the treadmill at a snail's pace. But it was a start.
And that routine has become critical in my continued success with weight loss. The gym has become one of my happy places, or more so, my therapy.
Currently, I work out for 90 minutes 3x a week. I do this schedule because it's what works for me. I do about 60 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weights. I love the stair-climber and am attempting to run and improve my mile time on the treadmill. This year I would love to run a 5k.
With such extreme weight loss, I have a lot of excess skin. My belly skin is hanging and pulling on me to the point where I've scheduled a plastics consultation to see if insurance will approve getting my stomach skin removed. I have loose skin everywhere, but my belly is where it's a nuisance.
I knew going into my RNY that if I lost as much as I wanted to that loose skin would be inevitable. But I didn't think it would become an issue so soon after surgery. I always assumed it would be 3-5 years post-op when I would address it.
The problem is, I've got a lot going on in my life. I'm finishing my bachelor's degree. The hubs and I want to try for another baby, and we want our kids to be about 3 years apart in age. (And that timeline is coming at us fast! Our baby, Sam, just turned 2.) And I really wanted to finish school before baby #2 potentially arrives.
So my timeline of opportunity to address my loose skin is pretty short for the immediate future. I can either address is ASAP, or I can weight 2-3 years after I've had a baby and healed from that. But all I can think about is how much worse the skin will get in 2-3 years! That leads me to my consult.
God willing, and insurance willing, I'll be getting my excess stomach skin removed in the near future.
What I want you to know: Every single person has their own health history and story. It's important to be sensitive to people who's story may have differed from yours. Every single person on this planet is deserving of love and respect, regardless of your personal opinion. In the end, all you need to do is decide what's right for YOU.
And for ME, that was weight loss surgery.
xoxo